Today I finally saw The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I read the book a long time ago, and I adored the movie. I laughed, I cried, and then I reevaluated my whole life after watching it. As I do with any good movie.
I promptly (within minutes of finishing the movie) messaged a friend of mine that gets me in ways no one else does, and I rambled about how I want life like that, friends like that, I want to write books like that. I want to hit people with a story the way books/movies like that hit me.
On Monday I start a new job at a marketing company, it’s full-time-big-girl-pants job. Goodbye the days of nannying and being a barista, and a camp counselor. It’s a great opportunity and I will learn a lot about how to manage businesses and lead teams, skills I could definitely use in the future.
But on some level I feel a little bit like a sell-out. I’m currently wearing jeans, a sweatshirt that says “Gossip Sucks”, and my hair is in a messy bun that can’t even contain all my hair. And today I bought business pants… Business pants.
I recognize this is an amazing opportunity to grow up and learn things I haven’t yet, and I am very excited to start it. Yet, the same question I asked my friend in my message today continues in my head:
Why is life so damn complicated when all I want to do is dance?
Here’s the conclusion we came to: The beautiful life is in the life we currently live. We just have to find it, seek it out. Because it’s there.
I’m gonna write something someday that socks someone in the gut in the best way.
I’m gonna keep my heart big and open.
I’m never gonna stop dancing.