There’s always another tunnel.

I am someone who seriously loves Christmas. Come the end of September I am getting antsy to have the holiday season roll in.

But I also love the New Year. I love the fresh start, the new goals, the way we all pretend to love working out.

Today I find myself in awe that it’s already March. We are two months down already in 2016. For me these two months have been wonderful, I have finally found consistency in my schedule. Habits I have long hoped to have stick are finally sticking. For example I wash my face every night. I go to work out classes 2-4 times a week. I’ve found time again to read books. I have reestablished a habit of creative writing–more in that I am imagining stories in my head than I am writing them down, but it’s a start.

Not just those small victories but I find myself giddy with a plan.

You know those people that have always had their eyes on the end game? The ones who came out of the womb knowing what they would be when they grew up? Yeah I have never been that person. But a couple times in life I’ve found myself obsessed with a goal to get somewhere, to make something happen, to see something through. They might not be life long plans but these obsessions have carried me to and through some incredible times.

For the first time in a handful of years I find myself entranced with an idea.

Not to say anything is around the corner for me, but it is incredible the renewal you can feel when there is suddenly a light at the end of the tunnel that you’ve been walking down for quite some time. Keeping in mind that there are always new tunnels with their darkness, so I am cherishing the light I see and moving toward it believing anything is possible.

Don’t call it a comeback, but that’s kind of what it is.

I am a little bit in awe about the fact that I haven’t blogged even a smidgen in nearly two months. I oversee the blog at work and apparently that has dominated most of my creative juices. However, I’ve returned to my faithful little blog once more to ramble another day!

I’ll take this comeback post to get you up to speed on my life lately.

Currently obsessed with:

Music – Joel Alme // I watched the movie Happy Christmas which largely featured his music and now his tunes have become a happy place to me.

Movies – Dear White People // This movie is raw, hilarious, gut stirring, and beautiful. The fact that it is primarily based on true events is chilling. I highly recommend it.

Television – The Walking Dead // I can’t help but love this show. I’ve thought about letting it go a few times and then it draws me right back in, season 5 has brought me back in.

Books – The Bone Clocks // I’ve read a few of David Mitchell’s books now but this one is top notch. He is such an expressive writer. You can be following the narration of an asshole of a character and yet you are completely invested in where it’s going.

Work – The Giving Keys // Just celebrated my one year anniversary of working for The Giving Keys, and still adoring my job completely as we submerge into our busiest month of the year. Working with good people makes all the difference in your day to day happiness.

Romance – Boyfriend // Ya, got myself one of those pretty recently. He cooks, reads good books, and randomly breaks into song often. I like him. This blog may become much more boring without my feminist single woman rants. I’ll see what I can do about continuing the ranting.

Life – Future // I feel like I am taking solid steps toward the dreams I have for my life. It’s terrifying, kind of bittersweet, but when I really think about it my heart feels so full with the possibilities ahead.

Extra – Serial Podcast // If you have not yet jumped on this train do yourself a favor and jump! This podcast is literally taking us back to the 1950’s where we look forward to listening to the new episode every Thursday and can’t help but talk about it to everyone we know.

So that’s basically all you’ve missed about my life since I took my unintentional hiatus.

I’ll be around more often, I promise.

It is the East,

Tonight while I was taking a bath I put my head under water so that my ears were filled with water and all I could hear was an echoing silence. I enjoyed it for a moment then brought my head up. Immediately I could hear my roommate’s voice as he spoke on the phone, I could hear ambulance sirens on the street, I could even hear the World Cup playing from my neighbor’s home.

I put my head under water again, welcoming the silence.

On Sunday, after an extremely busy work week I took the morning off from life and spent it with Netflix. Scrolling through the options I came across the new Romeo & Juliet. I hadn’t seen it yet and am a fan of the play, writer, and all things from centuries before ours. So I watched it.

I was so into it you would think it was the first time I had ever experienced the story of Romeo and Juliet. Though, it wasn’t necessarily the movie itself or seeing the story played out for the first time in a few years, it was the words. I had forgotten how incredibly beautiful the words were. So lovely, in fact, it made me pull out my worn old copy of Romeo and Juliet to read the beautiful words with my own eyes.

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There existed a time, not even that long ago, where words mattered. Where words were as sweet as honey. People knew how to express themselves in the most incredible words, and others longed to hear those words.

I’m sure we’ve all seen this meme.

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Now, I love the Biebs. Don’t get me wrong. But this is a perfect example of what I’m saying. Not too long ago people knew how to put affection, and love, and life into words that were expressively stunning.

My favorite book is an incredible story about a little girl growing up in Nazi Germany–which that alone is a great part of the story–but one on of my favorite things about the book is following this girl as she falls in love with books, and more importantly, words. She learns the beauty and the power of words.

There is exactly that, power in words. They hold life and death in them. They can be transformative or destructive. They can be exquisite or pointless.

We live in a day and age where everything is just random noise. Loud noise at that, falling on top of each other, not a sound worth hearing. Don’t just be another voice, speaking for the hell of it.

May we never lose our ability to use our words rightly.

Why this single girl hated the ending of How I Met Your Mother.

If you haven’t seen the series finale of How I Met Your Mother this is obviously going to be a **SPOILER ALERT**.

Last Forever: Part One

In case you forgot I was pretty stoked for the ending of the show, I may have even blogged about the show once, or twice, or three times… (I have an obsessive personality, so what.) But when I finally saw the ending I was so incredibly let down that it actually ruled my thoughts for a couple of days.

I’ve never been too terribly disappointed with the ending of any television show, particularly sitcoms, I didn’t think it was possible to end a sitcom so poorly. I was proved wrong.

The final season of the show had me falling in love all over again. Seeing Ted meet this woman of his dreams that he always believed was out there was surprisingly overwhelmingly sweet. I probably cried through half of the season because I’m a sucker for sitcoms and seriously–it was that precious.

Then the series finale happened and I sat there feeling regret that I had ever watched the show. I’ll narrow my despise down to two specific reasons to avoid me ranting via blog for the next week.

1. You can’t have it all. When Robin and Barney announced they’d gotten divorced (over a thirty second scene after the ENTIRE last season being all about their wedding) I shook my head. Robin always wanted a career, we all knew that, but the fact that her career is what drove the divorce after only a few years of marriage was so upsetting to me as a woman building her own career.

For years I have valued the “Liz Lemon Mindset” of having it all. But within a few years of this fictional marriage Robin and Barney quit their vows because of her job? As if her working was anything new? Two career driven people that respected that in each other couldn’t stand to stay together hardly at all.

2. The entire show was a “re-return”. The fact that Ted ended up with Robin at the eventual end was nauseating to me. Dozens of times throughout the series Ted realized why he and Robin should NOT be together and yet when they were older and the mom had died, they end up together.

I hated this because I hate the idea that we inevitably end up with someone who isn’t even a good fit for us just because we can’t move on and make a clean break.

(Side note: found it really weird that Ted Mosby, mega romantic that helped plan other people’s weddings, waited 7 years and two kids later to finally spontaneously marry the mom.)

(Second side note: I won’t even mention the fact that Barney remained a pervy dude into his 40’s until he finally got a random woman knocked up and had a daughter then changed his ways.)

You guys, I actually am aware that these people are fictional. That this is not a biographical show. That these characters are in no way correlated to my life. But I was really enjoying this final season of seeing characters settle down in their lives with the right people, only to fast forward into the future and see that none of it really worked out.

We live in a day and age where people believe in prenups more than they believe in the one. We believe more strongly in shacking up than tying the knot. For a minute I thought this show would provide us with a lovely view of that foreign trend: staying together. Instead it became more (fictional) evidence to us that commitment is fleeting and moving on is impossible.

I refuse to accept the How I Met Your Mother finale.

I believe commitment is possible and baggage is unnecessary.

With this, I am done talking about this show. Hopefully forever.

Show me how big your brave is.

I have been certain about very little in life these days, but here are some things I am certain of:

Being single is AWESOME. People spend way too much time wishing they weren’t single instead of enjoying the journey of getting to know yourself.

Kite flying is so peaceful. Even when you have no idea how to properly fly a kite, see exhibit A, and the fact that my kite is like 3 feet high in the air.

exhibit A
exhibit A

I believe in destiny. I have always believed everything happens for a reason, but as I trip through my life I think I have come to believe there is something in our lives that no matter what side paths we take, we will still end up where we’re destined to be. Whether we acknowledge that destiny is another story though…

Fringe is a seriously good show. I love anything J.J. Abrams, and I was (still am) in love with LOST, that show messed me up, and Fringe fills the hole LOST left in my heart, for the most part.

I’m happy for them, and happy for me. It’s wedding season, and a good portion of my unmarried friends are about to join my married friends column. Yesterday I was reading my friend’s dating and engagement story on their little wedding website and I started crying. Not because I want to be married or because I’m jealous, but because I’m genuinely so happy for them. And, I’m so happy I’m not where they are.

I’m in love with Sara Bareilles’ new single, Brave. It’s such a fun and inspiring song, Sara is amazing as ever, the video is people dancing around in public (one of my favorite things in the WORLD), and the music video was directed by Rashida Jones?! Shut up, it’s too perfect. Plus it’s a great song for my life right now, join me in loving it…

I think it’s important we see the little things around us, enjoy flying a kite or a fun music video while in the thick of this crazy falling apart world we live in. If we don’t take in the little joys, the little blessings, how can we enjoy the big ones?

New (Old) Obsession: The Infernal Devices

So I just finished The Clockwork Princess by Cassandra Clare which was the third, and final of The Infernal Devices trilogy.

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Which was a prequel to The Mortal Instruments. Can I just tell you that I love, absolutely love the way it ended. It had me in some mixed emotions throughout, but the ending couldn’t have been better.

I started reading The Mortal Instruments trilogy in 2008, they were glorious, it seriously helped to fill the hole in my heart after all the Harry Potter books were out and done. I really enjoyed the trilogy, and then suddenly Cassandra announced she’d be writing three more books in The Mortal Instruments series as well as a prequel trilogy.

The Mortal Instruments covers

To be honest, so far, I haven’t loved the 4th and 5th books of Mortal Instruments, hoping girlfriend pulls it all together and redeems it in the 6th book.

However, I loved every bit of The Infernal Devices trilogy. It was everything I loved about Mortal Instruments set in the 1800’s.

So as a shout out to the end of this lovely trilogy here are my five reasons for my New (Old) Obsession:

1) The Bromance. Literally, I’ve never loved a guy-besties situation as much as I loved Jem and Will’s. And that is saying a lot because for years I loved the bromance that was Turk and JD on Scrubs. The whole sense and meaning of the parabatai was so intriguing and sweet to me, and the way it was based off the friendship of the Biblical Jonathan and David, I loved it. The way the parabatai connection never had any jealousy or selfishness in their friendship was so endearing, and also made for the most bittersweet love triangle scenario.

2) Charlotte (Fairchild) Branwell. I genuinely want to be Charlotte when I grow up. She was the ideal picture of a strong leading woman, especially in a time when women did not lead. She had this way of being so nurturing and caring to all the young Shadowhunters at the Institute while also keeping such a clear head and being a fierce warrior. Seriously, I want to be her.

3) A non-annoying-female-lead. A great deal of lead female characters, particularly in YA Novels, tend to annoy me. They start out chill and independent and then they fall in love and become so emotionally driven that they begin to unravel everything, including themselves. Clary in The Mortal Instruments really started to get on my nerves as the books went on. Tessa I really did enjoy though, she was in love, doubly so. (Haha, see, like if you read the books you’d get that joke…) But Tessa was a fighter to the end, and love didn’t make her weak. She was much more of a Katniss circa book 1.

4) The Family Trees. On the cover sleeve of The Clockwork Princess there is a family tree for the Lightwoods, Herondales, and Carstairs families. This highly impressed me, perhaps I’m easily impressed, it’s possible, but the way Cassandra Clare connected the stories of family generations between 200 years difference was truly impressive to me. The little details that played out in the 1800’s that we learned about in early 2000’s, I loved it. Listen to me, I sound like I just read some historical books, well, the books do correlate with the Bible a lot… Which is like the history book. Just sayin’.

5) Magnus Bane. The convenient thing about this reason is that he applies to both The Mortal Instrument series and The Infernal Devices trilogy. Oh, that adorable gay warlock with his clever wit, outrageous fashion sense, and the way he always comes through when he’s needed. Love me some Magnus Bane. I wish he was real, like warlock-ness aside, he and I would be besties.

New obsession: The Mentalist

What the heck, you guys?

WHERE has the show The Mentalist been the last five years of my life?!

Honestly, my love for The Mentalist is similar to my love for Nutella, or Friends, or comfy pair of hot heels, it simply cannot be expressed enough.

Top 5 Reasons For Leslie’s New Obsession:

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1. It’s HILARIOUS. I have yet to watch an episode that didn’t make me bust out laughing. The show is like a more intense and wittier Psych. Oh, it’s definitely got the intensity to it–like, seriously–but unlike Law & Order: SVU or Grey’s Anatomy, The Mentalist doesn’t make me cry or consider giving up on it.

2. Agent Cho. What? Yes. Kimball Cho’s dry responses regardless of the situation are an absolute favorite. I don’t even have anymore to say on that one. Cho is a boss.

3. The Jane and Lisbon relationship. Who doesn’t love it? That too personal platonic relationship. (I.E. Jack and Liz on 30 Rock or Stabler and Benson on Law & Order: SVU.) But Jane and Lisbon’s relationship is the perfect combination joking with each other and protecting each other.

4. It makes tea drinking awesome. Patrick Jane literally never turns down an offer for tea, in fact he often makes himself a cup of tea whenever the supplies are present, whether that be after breaking in to someone’s home or the home of a recent murder victim. The man loves tea. As he should, tea is delicious.

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5. Patrick Jane, himself. What a dreamy man. He has this endearingly deep sadness and passion but also this wit that is so clever and charming you just want to follow him around like a puppy. His hunt for Red John is so intense that you find yourself feeling like you’re a part of the investigation. Aside from his personal manhunt he has this way of messing with people just for the fun of it that is nothing short of heroic, if you like a good joke. Not to mention that little smile he gets after messing with someone. Then there are the moments when he’s enjoying orchestra music or randomly starts dancing when you just (if you’re me) tilt your head to the side and think, this guy is perfect.

I rest my case.

Yes, it was genuinely necessary for me to share this new obsession. You should definitely get on The Mentalist train. It’s never too late.